World Ends Today?

“Stay strong. Be there for yourself even though no one is there for you.” – Friend.

Days had passed, and few more hours to mark the end of Day 14th.

The Mayans predicted that their Calendar ends today, people interpreted it as ‘The End of the World’. But, I don’t really care about it, as it is a part of life. If we’re the ones who got to face this event, then lucky us isn’t it? I’m still wondering how long am I suppose to wait. But, no matter what, life goes on.

Well, there isn’t much to say now. My chance graph is inversely proportional against time, the way I looked at it. It’s either, time is needed to really think about it, or time is just needed to find some soothing excuses or reasons so that it wouldn’t end that bad. Anything will do, as now, I hope for less. Less expectations, less disappointment. Make it that way.

A message was received, asking for EOT to consider, as no answer is obtained yet that time. It was Day 10 that day. It really brought back that smile on my face that moment, instantly. But, as I said before, I respect and appreciate your decision. I’m not urging for a relationship, coz I know it’s hard to decide. So, from there, I continued to wait again.

This whole patience needed situation really pushed me to my own limits. If there’s any production company who needs an actress to tear within 15 seconds, I’m up for it. It feels so hard to breathe, so heavy. Sometimes, I hope I could just tell that someone.. “ Whatever it is, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know..”. Anything familiar? I think it’s from one of the 《那些年我们一起追得女孩》scene. I just feel like doing so, not that I want to copy a movie scene or what. I just feel tired sometimes.

And did my mood and emotions shown on my face? Or externally? Even my mom ask, why am I so moody nowadays. There isn’t a smile on my face. And of coz, she relate many many things into it, here and there. My mood turned even worst. If and only if you’re here to comfort me, like what you did before. Thinking of it, I felt a lil more better. But it would be best if you’re here.

I’ve made another silly but it is really an honest request recently. In these 6 years, I have not met someone who dares to confess or confirm a relationship face to face in front of me. And because of that, I’ve bumped into cheaters. I wanted it that way is because I wanted to feel for it myself. I believe no matter what decision you made, I will still feel comfortable around you because we’ve been great all these while, even on that moment itself.

Seeing post by post on Facebook that you’re enjoying your semester break in pairs. Feeling good for you, but not really good on my side. Well, I take that as a practice though. Refrain from falling into a state of jealousy. So that I’m not that emotionally weak any longer I hope. I just can’t wait nor imagine what’s going to happen next week when I finally get to meet all of you guys, paired up, right in front of my own eyes. I really hope I could endure the moments.

Three days, how am I suppose to live for those three days?