12-12-12

The last reoccurrence of day, month and year..

Well, many people hoping for some miracle to happen in them today, including me, I couldn’t deny. But, let’s not get our hopes too high and live in the reality. Things are just gonna be like everyday, because 121212 it’s just a day. Like others, nothing is special except for the number and order of it.

I have to accept the fact that I may not (high probability) get a good respond from my friend as I have told him something last Friday night. Five days, I was left silent, how sad and heartbreaking, but it really happened. I didn’t do what I did on purpose. It’s not a ‘now or never’ thing too. It’s just that I can’t hide any further.

Do you remember when I said I always be there? Ever since we were ten? The lyrics do suit well to my situation though, year by year, we had been through a lot. Be there for each other.. And, the feelings we had? Just unpredictable. Blame it on me, that you didn’t respond to me this time, because I was the one who pulled out when we first confessed to each other in 2007.

I denied many times though.. But this time, I can’t deny any further. I’ve fell in love with my best friend. Everyone would say.. “ owh.. how perfect! you guys can be together..” . It’s not like how you guys think it is, that easy.  By confessing, I’ve ruin my friendship. Never expected, but it happened.

We both have gone in and out of relationships, support each others through those heart sickening days. Comforts after comforts each breakups. Problems and issues were solved one after another. The feel of being together is just so right. The fact that we know each other too much, we just easily know what is needed and what’s not.

I didn’t ask for more, just one question actually. Who am I to you? Well, I’ve even plan the next move if I’m nothing or just a friend. Why don’t you just tell me, maybe a yes or a no for an answer? I’ll be glad if you do so. Then I can pick up from there all over again. You know I can handle all these situation as I been through a lot. You know. 

But you’re not acting upon it. Why? Do you think that I’ll be fine if you kept quiet as if you answered my question (NO). I don’t think so. You’re just making me worrying more here as if everything is over. OVER. Why must you do this to me? And the real fact that you did this to your ex-girlfriend just to ignore her. You’re doing this now to me. How sad is this?

I’m not a girl that you know for a day or two, or maybe for weeks or months. We know each other for years! Maybe you think I’m being too realistic in this matter this time. But this had proven that you don’t even care about me. At all. Till that extend? You know what, your actions really do disappoint me this time. Just this act of yours.

Please, show that you care? Maybe just a normal friend? The hi-bye type also it’s fine with me. But, you don’t plan to talk to me don’t you? Not replying my sms, facebook inbox chat.
I really thought of spamming all the devices you know? Including whatsapp, twitter mention, twitter direct message. But, it seems that I’m too annoying already right?

All I want it’s just a yes or no.
Waiting.