“ I once said I regretted over the confession, but now, I’m pulling back my words.” – JAB
A true friend knows your characteristics well, read your moves, and knows your plans. But, it seems that the person I called ‘true friend’ don’t know me well enough.
I fell in love with my best friend. A friend that once be there for me since we’re ten. I’m glad that he existed in my life, and cherish those moments of us, together, being good friends. He was called, 5 in 1 – Sister, Brother, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Best friend. And he’s everything to me. We shared almost everything, most of our problems, shed tears, burst out of laughters, solved each other’s problems besides than food and drinks, chair, interest, and there’s too many to list either.
I wasn’t disappointed over the turn down after 24 days of wait. I was just disappointed that, you chose to avoid things as it never happen. And it had proven that you don’t know me well enough, thinking that I wasn’t able to handle my own feelings, making ample of excuses just to stay away from me. And the plans with drama you guys put on, just to care about your new girl’s feelings, you avoided mine.
Years of friendship, and that’s a heartbreaking decision that you made, to chose her over me. And you gave up our friendship over a girl. A girl that was your ex-girlfriend months ago. Still can imagine you coming to us, crying and feeling tired over her attitude, and character. But, love is blind- you’ve proven it. Isolated because you chose romance over friendship – something that I don’t deserve from a so called ‘friend’ like you.
I was deeply disappointed not because you chose her. It’s because you don’t value our friendship. And I know something is still hidden as you don’t even dare to look at my eyes when I talk to you that day. If and only if, I didn’t pulled you to that corner and have the conversation, I think till today, I still don’t deserve and answer. Being in a hanging position for three weeks plus, it’s not easy, though I already prepared for the answer. Proven much that you don’t know me enough.
And now, knowing that you’re not that friend that I used to have, the one that know me too well, read my moves, and knew my plans, I can’t do much but to forgive. Letting go is not easy, but it’s the only way anyhow. Being disappointed over your actions had made 8 years of friendship, now, locked in a chest. It felt like I was left buried alive. The pain is there, watching over memories. Scar is the only thing you left for me.
This had taught me a lesson, nothing will ever last, and there’s no forever. Only my sincerity stays unspoken. Tears went dry. Hidden feelings. Being unwanted is the only thing I know, you abandoned me. Over a girl.
5201314 - “ 我爱你一生一世 " is not to be expressed to others before you know how to appreciate your belongings. Always love yourself more than others. No one will be there for you but only yourself, always. Action does speak louder than words, so becareful on what you’re doing. Know your limits, and learn to respect others, so that you’re respected in return. And, no matter what, life goes on. Being silly is not the way to end problems. Building back your defense and confidence is the way to self cure the pain that you received. Forgive, but never forget, so that you’ll refrain yourself from repeating your mistakes. Sounds cruel, but it’s the only way so that you won’t get hurt continuously, over and over again.
Thanks for being a friend that shown me an example of an unworthy friend. You made me realize that I don’t deserve alot from you. Though it’s heartsickening, I’ll forgive, but never forget.
